Confidence is a state of courage

The say confidence is the best outfit one can wear. Who would not want to constantly feel confident?  I bet no one.

Yet in order for one to start working towards building confidence it is important to appreciate what confidence is about.

Confidence is in fact not an innate attribute. People are not born confident. And indeed there are no personalities that are by default confident.  The fact that someone may seem extrovert and loud does not necessarily make them confident. And on the opposite the fact that someone may seem introvert and quieter does not necessarily make them less confident. The most confident person in the room may be the quietest and yet the most insecure may be the loudest. Thus there is no specific personality to match confidence with. Confidence is all about putting effort and working with yourself towards becoming the best of you.

Confidence is a fact-based quality. What makes you confident is your experiences. For example, the fact you feel confident that despite a difficult situation, be that an exam or a work interview or anything else, you will manage to survive is based on the fact that you have done so in the past and thus you have already proven yourself to yourself and this makes you feel sure about your capabilities.

But in fact to gain confidence in the first place you need courage. Courage to step outside of your comfort zone and try something for the first time not in the absence of any fear but despite of your fear. Thus, courage may be characterized as a preliminary step to the whole confidence gaining process.

Doing something for the first time may carry with it the risk of failure, fear for the unknown and many insecurities such as whether you will manage to be good at it.  In fact, people do not like feeling uncertain. People often put their need of comfort above their need to grow and develop. But have your ever thought that all those barriers that we are setting to ourselves are to an extent useless? All those fears and uncertainties have in fact nothing to offer apart from wasting our time, energy and potential of growth.

 But indeed you need courage to do  to be able to do so for the first time and gain confidence out of that experience you need courage to step outside of your comfort zone, to act despite of your fear and in fact prove yourself to your-own-self.  Because in reality the only person that really needs to believe in us in order to succeed is no other other than our own self. If you believe in yourself, if you decide to do what you want even if you fail, if you are okay with every possible scenario, be that a good or a bad one, then the sky will be the only limit.

You cannot always search for the easiest or the most secure solution. Life is uncertain. Life is full of unpredictable situations. Life is full of risks. So a life without courage will be a life left unlived. So I feel like courage is one of the most valuable weapons one could carry with him in this crazy ride of life.

And in the end only if you realise that when trying something out for the first time, there are only 2 possible scenarios. Either your will try, succeed and gain confidence out of it. Or you will try and fail and then try again and again until you do it.   There is not anything that bad about failing to do so. The only bad and destructive thing will be to decide not to try.  Because even if you try and fail you will be have already gained experience and have learned what you should do the next time to achieve what you want. In fact, even with “failure” you are a step closer to your goal rather than without trying. 

We should have dreams. We should have goals. We have to try to reach all of them. so set your goals and try each day to achieve them. Don’t let your own self stop you from truly living your life as you deserve to do so.

Until the next time,

Keep pondering

xoxo

Jo